Female Bonding

dedicated to my Grandma Helen

Because I’m still in love with you,
I wanna see you dance again.
Because I’m still in love with you.
On this harvest moon,
I can see you dancing
Sweating cocktail glass in hand
Soft skin pouching at the crease of
Your Hawaiian floral swimsuit
Feet shuffle in a hula sway.

Because I’m still in love with you
I wanna hear you say again,
“Well bless your heart!”
When I climb into your lap
Strong bony legs
Roped in varicose veins

Because I’m still in love with you
I wanna feel you braid my hair again
Forehead stretched tight
Tears spring between my lashes
You’d pull and twist and bind
My frizzy hair and it keeps for days

Because I’m still in love with you
I wanna roast in the sun again
Splashing through laps
Escaping the pool sweep
And testing the pH.
Let’s lay in the prickly, itchy lawn
Drink diet cokes and play us some gin.

Because I’m still in love with you
I wanna know
What made you fierce?
What made you strong?
Purple feet plant and plough
Through Montana farms
Berkeley hills and radio reports
Of bombings in the pacific

Woman of contradictions
You loved so easily, so fiercely
What made you guarded against those
Who loved you best?

I can see you now:
Ramrod spine, unflinching fingers
Carrying a grimy water glass to bed
Warm bosom and coral lipstick
Lavender hairs stretched
Round and round curlers
Oversized tee-shirt as a nightgown
Puff-painted scrawl reads:
“We love you, grandma.”

Gift of the three weird, squawking, bickering, elbowing, tickling, giggling, hollering sisters.
Warm, pink bodies splashing and writhing through the chlorinated blue.
Itching, sweating knobby knees lined up in the back seat,
Heads rest on shoulders, and we dream.

Because I’m still in love with you
I wanna say to you what
I’ve never said before
Men may run the world and steal our hearts
But trust in sisterhood
Because we are strong enough to
Stand side by side
share a little strength with mankind,
and fortify this world.

Because I’m still in love with you,
I wanna see you dance again.
Push the switches on your mint-green
Tape recorder, tell stories and
Listen to me laugh,
Learn through the world
Learn through the stories
Learn to love and then leave this life.